Did you ever see someone on the street, and think "he looks just like an ex-boyfriend". Then you think that it's been almost thirty years, he's now 58 instead of 35, and the ex likely doesn't look a thing like that anymore.
But he's still a jerk.
Curt Rosengrens's site The Occupational Adventure, pointed at an interesting "how do you process info" test. So I did the Mind Media Brain Persuasion Test, and the results are:
Your Brain Usage Profile
Auditory : 58%
Visual : 41%
Left : 42%
Right : 57%
And for those of you who know me who needed a really good giggle this morning, here's the full results:
"Laurie, you show a slight right-hemisphere dominance with a moderate preference for auditory processing, an unusual and somewhat paradoxical combination of characteristics.
You are drawn to a random and sometimes nonchalant synthesis of material. You learn as it seems important to a specific situation, and might even develop a resentment of others who attempt to direct your learning down a specific channel.
Your right-hemispheric dominance provides a structure that is only loosely organized and one which processes entire swatches of reality, overlooking details. You are emotional in your reactions and perceptual more than logical in your approach, although you can impose structure and a language base when necessary.
Your auditory preference, on the other hand, implies that you process information sequentially and unidimensionally. This combination of right-brain and auditory modes creates conflict, as you want to process data more rapidly than your natural processes allow.
Your tendency to be creative and free-flowing is accompanied by sufficient ability to organize and be logical, allowing you a reasonable degree of success in a number of different endeavors. You take in information methodically and systematically which can then be synthesized rapidly. In this manner, you manage to function consistently well, although certainly less efficiently than you desire.
You prefer the abstract and are a theoretician at heart while retaining the ability to be practical. You find the symbolism in a great deal of what you encounter and are something of a "mystic."
With regards to your lifestyle, you have the mentality which would be good as a philosopher, writer, journalist, or instructor, or possibly as a systems designer or social worker. Perhaps most important is your ability to "listen to your inner voice" as a mode of skipping over unnecessary steps to achieve your goals."
************
Yup, "unusual and somewhat paradoxical"--that pretty much sums it up...
Not much financial upside in being a philosopher or mystic, though...
I mean, what is it with some people? Way back when, I used to have people ask me "um, do you, you know, with the equipment on?"
Okay, folks--there's kink, and then there is just stupid. Now maybe someone out there is making "A hot night with Ed Belfour" kits, but the reality is pretty nasty. The gloves stink, and the pads aren't much better. Besides, the buckles on the pads would rip up anything they came in contact with. Explain *that* to the linen service. And even with the new synthetics, the pads are *heavy*. The gloves aren't made for precision, and the blocker would clock someone. Yeesh.
And the mask? More concussion-inducing than passion-inflaming on the non-wearer's side. And the old fibreglass masks? Someone *wants* a hot night with Jason? Eeeuuuwww.
I found that out today when I was breaking in a pair of boots while stomping through downtown Victoria. I suddenly realized that there was a nasty bit of pain directly below my left ankle-bone. I wasn't wearing the right socks, so I popped into a shoe store to grab something better. A quick sock change later showed that I am now missing a strip of skin about 3 inches long by a third of an inch wide. I used to have a callus there from my goalie skates, which I kept under control with a lot of baby powder.
It's been long enough since I played that the callus is gone. Geez--I'd had that callus forever. I had sort of figured it was a permanent feature. Oh well--if I keep wearing these boots, I guess I'll have to lay in a new supply of baby powder.
Update: Forgot all about theat strip of skin being gone until I took a shower this morning. Woo-hoo! Too late for the liquid bandage trick, and really, that stuff is for before you have the blister or tear--it burns like mad on raw skin.
One of the reasons I like getting to Canada is that I can actually get makeup that works for my skin tone. As I joked to my hairdresser, when we were discussing a "beauty tip" that said if you were going blonde, you should colour lighter than your skin, that if I followed that and allowed him to do that to me, I could stand next to an eggshell white wall, and all you'd see was a pair of green eyes staring out at you. When I say I'm looking for foundation in porcelain, I mean it!
For some reason, California hasn't figured out that there are people who take shade 01 of cosmetics, so just try and find it. The first shade in the bin is the ubiquitous rose beige, which is a pretty nasty piece of work. Unfortunately, it's also the most used colour by American women whose ancestors wandered in from Europe. And it's so wrong for so many women. You just don't need that sort of "colour correction", and foundation is the wrong place for that anyway.
Guys, if you come across a group of women who all seem to be wearing the same oddly pink masque, you can blame the bubble-pack cosmetics industry for that.
As a follow-up to Bad Attitude aerobics music, I bring you an aerobics session for romance seriously gone wrong...
Warm-up: What Would Happen, Meredith Brooks--might as well set the topic now, shall we?
Getting that pulse raised: Are You Happy Now, Michelle Branch--the aftermath for the first song. Good for those essential air punches.
Speeding it up: Just Like a Pill, Pink--slow start, but by the time you're done, the pulse is up there, if it wasn't already
Get into that yellow zone!: Promises in the Dark, Pat Benatar--'nuff said
And stay there: Only a Memory, Smithereens--yup
And again: Talk Talk, Talk Talk--get your shit together or get out of here, okay?
And again: Private Idaho, The B-52's--but you aren't going to get your shit together, are you?
And again: Push, Moist--and you want me to stick around anyway
Start the slow down: Poison Arrow, ABC--yeah, it's you I'm talking about
And one last kick and punch song: Seven Nation Army, The White Stripes--because I am so out of here
Cool Down: A Woman in Love, Tom Petty--you never did understand, did you?
And breathe: Unwell, Matchbox Twenty--seriously disengaging from reality here
Floor Exercise 1: Fortress Around Your Heart--I seriously fucked up here, didn't I?
Floor Exercise 2: Blue on Black, Kenny Wayne Shepherd--we both seriously fucked up here, didn't we?
Stretch and done: Ordinary World, Duran Duran--and nothing other than to say goodbye, is there?
************************
Note--for those of you who are now seriously freaking out, please take a cleansing breath....
If they ever decided to produce a movie about the early WB animation era, they could do a lot worse than casting Patrick McKenna as a young Bob Clampett.
..and I don't want your immortal soul. Until such time that the Chicago Mercantile Exchange allows me to option it, there just isn't an upside.
To whom it may concern, re: your thoughts on payment due:
No, I don't want your firstborn. I've seen them in action, and I think I can come out better in the deal if they stay right there with you.
Teresa wrote about various forms of Author's insanity over in Making Light.
Eric wondered if someone who did project management could come with a similar list for programmers.
Heck, I'll do that one better. Here's my list for various forms of insanity across the groups that I may deal with in the course of a program. Some of these go back to nearly punch card days--some things just never change!
Marketing:
The requirements doc will be three months late, but we aren't moving out the due date.
We did the requirements doc. It's only a page long, but that's all that you need, right?
If we can't tell engineering what we want, the PM can write functional specs instead.
No, we haven't presented this to the exec team, but we know they'll fund this.
That functionality can't require more than a hundred lines of code.
That can't take more than a day to code
It has to be done by May. We have a VP who has a bonus depending on it.
We can't tell you when we'll need that product. You don't have a need to know.
You'll know the due date when the CEO announces it.
We don't need focus groups. We know what the customers want.
Why do we need new hardware for this project? The servers are only three years old.
We want to upgrade all the software, but not the hardware--we can do that, right?
Do we really need staging and testing hardware?
Can't we just share the production hardware?
The product is intiutively obvious.
I don't like green--can you redo the entire site in blue? By next week?
I don't understand what's so hard about web design.
I took the intro class in web design--I can do the pages.
Our chargeback process was wrong, so we sat on your job until we figured it out. It's going to be a month late--is that okay?
IS
Yes, we know we make and sell that hardware. We just don't support it in the data center.
When you told us you'd need that support by the time you shipped, we didn't really think you'd ship on that date.
Yeah, you gave us funds to buy that hardware, but we bought something else instead. Do you have more funding?
Of course the planned platform doesn't offer half the capabilities of the previous platform. But you know what you won't be getting.
Yes, we know we told you to buy that hardware when you started the project, but we've changed our corporate standards. Can't you just buy new hardware?
Oh, you wanted those data fields added before you shipped? Why?
Yes, we have our analysts test their own code. Is there a problem with that?
Doc Control:
Oh, you wanted to sell that product? Now?
Yes, we know you filled out that form at the beginning of the project. But we didn't get around to implementing your request until now, and we use a different form. You'll have to start over, and it will take another three months to work through the queue.
When you said you were going to ship on that date, we really didn't think you'd need the BOM by then.
Engineering:
No one understands my code.
No one understands my UI.
My code is brilliant. The customers are idiots.
I made a change in a variable declaration that cascades throughout the entire code tree. But the buildmeister can take care of that, right?
So what if all my variable names are old girlfriends? No one will ever have to change the code anyway.
My code is so tight it will never need to be enhanced.
We'll never need more than that size of array.
I don't think this is important, so I'm putting my junior people on it.
Don't worry, if the coding goes long, we can just cut it out of QE time.
We won't need QE for this, because it will work the first time.
I know what the customer wants.
That part of the code is going to be late--can't we just test around it?
When you said you were going to ship on that date, I really didn't think you were going to ship on that date.
QE:
We're supposed to update the libraries when you update your libraries?
What do you mean, we can't use the same test suites we used last year?
The customer would never see that condition anyway.
I know you told us to not test that module because it wasn't ready. We tested it anyway. It didn't pass.
Yes, modularized code is supposed to allow us to test only the modules, but I personally can't start testing until all the code is checked in.
I don't use this product, so it's not that important to test it.
You wanted us to test the product on all the platforms it's supposed to run on?
When you said you were going to ship on that date, I really didn't think you were going to ship on that date.
Two things...
One, radiant heating in bathroom floors *rocks*
Two--why don't more hotels provide at least a functioning am/fm radio in the bathroom? I cannot be the only person who would like to hear the news or a little appropriate noise in the morning.
And if you're in high tech, that sometimes means that you're working from 1600km down the road, rather than at work.
I will admit that I have some stuff that I would rather come in and spend 10 minutes on a day, rather than spend half a day when I get back, cranking two weeks of reports in one big slog. And since mail.app and Excel for MacOS X do a much better and quicker job of importing and playing with the data than the Windows stuff I use at work, I can actually crank *faster*.
And I'll check email--especially with the EQ yesterday, I'm on the 6th floor of a building that's on rockers, and that I have 22 intently staring goalies on my office wall--well, I wanted to make sure that Andy Moog didn't spend the holidays staring close-up to my office rug.
So, there are things I will volunteer to do when I'm not "here", so to speak. I've even called into meetings in past vacations, but that usually means that it's really important, and someone has gone to the trouble to ask me, and to set up a time that's good for me.
But then there are people who refuse to honour that I'm on vacation, and schedule in stuff and demand for me to be there, or else they'll do something *really* stupid and asinine. Gee, too bad-those requests get ignored, or if it's someone who has a history of "oh, I set up a meeting and she didn't show, so that meant I could do what I want", well, those get the special gilded dip and the email goes to my Director (who *is* at work this week).
Nope, I don't allow passive-aggressive bullshit, even when I'm on vacation, thanks...
And we crossed the border at about 3PM today. I was expecting more hassle than usual, since the US gov't now has an orange alert, and we have a passle of Christmas presents with us. For some reason, Canadian customs is over-interested in making sure we aren't bringing in stuff to leave behind with friends.
In any case, our current status as being on "speed dial" with Canadian Immigration and Customs turned the whole actual border process into a one minute event. We spent about 10 minutes getting there, but what the heck.
We'll see what happens on the return trip--we're doing the Peace Arch instead of our usual, which is taking the Ferry to Port Angeles. One of the reasons we've done that in past is that the Peace Arch crossing is notorious for slowdowns and searches.
The biggest driving hassle today was dealing with downtown Seattle. Luckily, we showed up as the SeaHawks game was starting, so we missed most of the game traffic, but the transit lanes were all running in the other direction, so we had a 15 minute backup as we all went from 5 to 3 lanes.
I did the drive from just south of Portland to just north of Everett. Those of you who have never really seen me in action, and wonder why I know I'm a type A personality only have to catch me driving. Not that I'm doing stupid stuff, but I'm usually swearing up a blue streak regarding the driving habits of those around me. If you're gonna drive--*drive*. And get the heck out of the left lane if you're neither passing nor at least keeping up with prevailing traffic, okay? You're a worse hazard if you're poking along in the wrong lane.
I keep a small thought in the back of my head about moving to Seattle instead of Portland when the time comes, and wonder whether it would be better. Seattle's layout reminds me of Chicago's--only flipped to the other side. The water and the highways limit where everything can go, and once you deal with that, you're okay. And the suburbs go on for quite awhile.
Something to ponder...
More on the knees and a bit of a ramble...
Short form, I have lateral patellar tracking syndrome in both knees. Both track to the outside of my legs, rather than in the patello-femoral groove. Of course, that assumes that I *have* a patello-femoral groove. When they took the x-rays, the sports physician commented that this was the closest to no groove at all that she had ever seen.
She also commented:
"really big muscles"
"really big bones"
"really, really loose joints"
"bad combination"
Which wasn't exactly accurate. Those big muscles were holding the kneecaps in place all these years, thanks.
But yeah, I have loose joints. I suspect that goalie types self-select for that, and we all try to keep as limber as possible. According to the sports physician, I was way off the charts.
Which I keep forgetting, and that leads to a lot of "what the heck are you doing" moments. The most recent was when I was sitting with my hand resting on my knee. Of course, my elbow was pointing straight over my knee away from my body, and my fingers were pointing towards my body (thumbs on the outside of the leg). For me a comfortable position. For some people, an "okay, you are just freaking me out" moment.
The legs still bend forward 10-15%, although I try to not do that, since I sub-lux my kneecaps sooner or later. The first joint of all my fingers happily bend in both directions, I can still get them to turn 90 degrees in, I can touch my thumbs to the insides of my wrists, and my toes have caused more than one massage therapist to wonder exactly what the heck happened to me.
I used to completely freak out the "I've had a year of Kung Fu, and I'm a stud" students, because they couldn't get me in a hold and have it *stay* there.
Downside? Yep--I partially dislocate a lot. And since the connective tissue looseness seems to be shared by my veins, I'm a really nasty draw. If I ever show up in Alwin's world, he might as well start the cut down immediately--unless they get someone who's a first class juvie needle sticker, they aren't going to get much but frustrated. It's in my file at Kaiser--when I go in for a 12 hr fasting whatever, the juvie butterfly comes out, and someone with lots of experience goes for the sample. Even then they may end up having to take it out of my wrist. (anyone turning green around the gills yet?)
On the whole, though, it's not something that's particularly obnoxious to me. If the blue fairy came up to me and told me that I could have "normal" joints, I'd turn her down. For me, this is what "normal" is.
I spent a goodly chunk of December trying to find a pair of boots that fit. Now, I'm not looking for full length boots--all that hockey made sure that my calves won't fit in the standard pipestem boots you see at the shoe stores. And hockey left my knees in a state where wearing 5 inch stilleto heels just isn't an option--if it ever was. Hey, why not just go do Pierre Silber and be done with it?
Pierre Silber has an affiliate program--be afraid, be very afraid....
*ahem*
Back to boots.
Anyway, all I'm talking about is a pair of short black boots here, people, not the holy grail. No mommy boots, either: and anyone who used to drag on mom's boots to go take out the garbage will know exactly what I'm talking about.
I have to admit, I'm not the easiest fit. If you saw the impression my wet feet make on a towel, you'd swear I was missing the middle of my feet. The heel is there, and the balls of my feet are there, but other than a really thin stripe along the sides, there's nothing there. Yes, I have seriously high arches. Seriously arched and curved insteps go along with that.
So, pull-on boots are right out--they just crush my feet. I need to have laced boots. I used to have a lot of laced boots back in the 70's and 80's, and other than I now wear a size 8 1/2 shoe instead of an 8, nothing much has changed.
So, why was it so hard to find a pair of boots I could get my feet into? Even with the laces untied, the boot threatend to break all those metatarsals that have already been snapped and crushed before, thanks. No fun. Did women's feet suddenly get a lot flatter in the last 20 years?
This is the first time I've been on holiday break in years that I haven't had something I had to get through first before I could relax.
Historically, it's been finals. Between grad school, biz school, and being the longest running SITN dilettante in Stanford's history--I've been taking various grad courses since 1989--I've always seem to have a final or final project to crank before I can relax.
Last year was a double header--finals, and a web site update that had been dropped on the floor by a departing PM, which I then had to pick up, dust off, and get the damned thing pushed anyway. It had to be pushed the day before I was to leave for SoCal with Chuq, and we had a week to get something right that should have been worked on for six weeks. We pulled it off.
This year? Nope--took off a quarter from Stanford, and for some reason, there are no "oh shit" moments to clean up after. Yeah, there are some nigglies to track, but that's about it.
It's a very odd feeling. If anyone is out there from the Big Red A, this is not a request for a crisis--thanks!
In the next version of iTunes, could I please have a rate limiter for my sharing?
I don't mind sharing, and I've met some interesting people at the Big Red A who've wandered by to complement me on my taste in music. But I had so many people piled on last Friday that it sludged everything out.
So, maybe a nice slide bar that goes from 1 to all, so I can say "okay, we have 8 in the pool-you're in queue!"?
Heard this at TJ's yesterday. There's now Beaujolais Nouveau, and I can't quite figure out whether this is really, really wrong for "two buck Chuck", or absolutely perfect.
Beaujolais Nouveau, in theory, is the alpha test for this year's vintage, but it's really more of an excuse to open up a bottle of something that you know isn't going to age well. I've had bottles of the stuff that tasted like slight tart, slightly fizzy Welches grape juice. Heck, I've had a lot of bottles of Beaujolais Nouveau that fit that description.
So, maybe it does work....
It's official--17 lbs over two months. I received the latest set of flavour enhancements on Friday, and took the weight from that morning.
That's enough to shift around the clothes a bit, which has presented an interesting problem.
First, because of my hockey and weight work, my upper arms are pretty darned large. Too large for "european cut" shirts in any case. BTW, having seen pipestem armed shirts in Europe 25 years ago advertised as "American cut", I am of the opinion that it's easier to cheap out on fabric if you can make the locals think that this is what the folks across the water are wearing
So, I wear sweaters a lot. That's easy to deal with for another 10-25 lbs, especially given what my second problem is.
And it is one that will earn me the emnity of a whole bunch of people out there.
The fat has disappeared primarily from the butt and thighs.
This isn't a big surprise--even when I was fencing and swimming in college and doing serious workouts, I wore size 9 jeans and a size 13 top. And that's pre-"vanity sizing". I had no tuchis to speak of, and while I had some impressive quads, I didn't have any "saddlebags".
So, what I have are a lot of jeans that used to fit, that are now looking rather deflated in some interesting areas, and in the case of a couple of pair of Ralph Laurens, are having to be seriously hitched up.
So, I'm running a little experiment as to whether these beasties can be shrunk down a size. They're "cold water wash, delicate dry", and they're getting a warm water wash and a medium dry.
If not, well, the Canadian economy is going to get quite the boost when I hit the Boxing Day sales!
