Weighed in this morning for the monthly report. I'll do that again for the official report to the study Monday morning, but the good news is that there is 6lbs less of me for November. Given I've had a birthday, a wedding anniversary, a business trip, and Thanksgiving, I'm pretty happy with the results.
This past month has been taking a look at what I'm eating and why. As I said last month, I'm a "high need for stimulus" person, and one of the things I've thought about is whether I'm taking that next bite because I'm hungry, or if I'm just looking for something to whap the tastebuds. And when I start asking that question, I put down the fork.
It's the same thing when I'm at the company cafeteria, which so kindly provides all sorts of deep-fried delecacies. If I have semi-convinced myself that I'm going to get the "five alarm" burger with onion rings, I'm stopping and asking myself exactly *why* I want this. I'm finding that it's not taking much to talk myself out of something that I know is going to make me feel like crap a couple of hours later.
I've also paid more attention to how some food affect me. One of the "I know what its glycemic value is, so why am I not surprised?" discoveries is that if I have potatoes at lunch, I'm going to be alternately sleepy and hungry a couple of hours later. Given the Big Red A provides candy jars on every floor, that can make the "one hit and my blood sugar will be fine until I get some real food" temptation *way* too appealing.
Oh yeah--I'm not pissed at the candy jars, or that the company provides them. I'm the one with the whacked insulin response, and why should everyone else suffer for my biochemistry? That's dumb and selfish, and I won't go there.
And that's probably the nut of it--I think I may have finally made peace with my blood sugar. I'm a reactive hypoglycemic, and I have the glucose tolerance test results to prove it. Whee. I've had this since I smashed into puberty head-on, and I've swung between taking care of myself, feeling sorry for myself, or lurching my blood sugar all over the scale. When I have the blood sugar under control, I think I can cheat and get away with it. Well yeah, but I can't chronically keep cheating, which was usually the path I headed down. Believe me, sugar is a high-stimulus item, and I could keep heading back for another hit.
Sooner or later, though, I felt enough like crud to get back on track. When I was eighteen I could get away with that crap. I could also blame some of my more charming personality tweaks to getting repeatedly hit in the head by pucks. Yeah, I can get away with some of that ;-), but not all of it. I still have a classic "goalie personality", and that twines around the sugar like the snakes on caduceus, but at least I can now accept that and do something about it.
And we'll all see how next month plays out.
Posted by lsefton at November 28, 2003 08:43 PM