Well, this is coming from the previous writing--why don't I see more long term relationships that *aren't* romantic between men and women?
My longest running friendship has run through numerous bad relationships, one failed marriage, multiple runs at graduate school, and more ups and downs over almost 30 years than either cares to remember or admit. We can tell each other that we are utterly and completely full of shit, and get away with it.
And that friendship is with a guy.
Now, this has led to some interesting moments, like explaining to his wife exactly what I'm doing at his university apartment at 3AM--we're watching the astrology report on the AP wire service teletext on tv, of course!--when his wife is 60 miles down the road.
Or explain--"Sorry, not available tonight--we're going out and chasing trains through central Indiana" to a series of boyfriends who were trying to figure out what *that* was the secret code for.
Or when you get "that look" from people who expect at some point we were going to have a "Why Miss Murgatroyd, without your glasses, you're beautiful!" moment, and we'd be sending out the engraved announcements. Nope, didn't happen. Besides, *he* wears the glasses, so that's not going to work.
So, yeah, you have to deal with a whole bunch of people doing the "yeah, right" at the both of you, and you shrug and move on.
The thing is, when you subtract the snogging from the relationship, there's a lot you just don't even think to worry about. You can talk about all sorts of stuff, and get a viewpoint that you couldn't get otherwise. And you get away from the "us vs them" mentality that can happen when everyone in your group is using the same washroom at the bar.
So, what's so rough for people to understand? Is it that we're all so acculturated to "everyone pair off" that any variance just doesn't enter into the equation? And holy objectification, Batman!--the times I've heard from women that he's "just waiting his chance" to jump me, because "all men are that way"--jeez, would you listen to yourself? If men are the enemy, why the heck are you so focused on getting a date with one for Saturday night?
You know, maybe if this was more common, we'd all be a lot more relaxed.
Posted by lsefton at October 26, 2003 07:01 PM