Okay, first, my apologies to anyone out there whose name is Mary-Ann--I don't mean you personally--really...
Anyway, this came wandering out of my subconscious while attending the marriage of two absolute sweeties, who are completely and utterly in love, and who are getting married for all the right reasons. This was my first wedding since mine, which was a long, long time ago, thanks.
And before that, there were a whole bunch of marriages that happened for all the wrong reasons.
First thing--this was the late 70's/early 80's when the worst thing we had to worry about was herpes, and we weren't much worried about that. And second, being an independent kind working in tech, well, let's just say I didn't have to worry about what I was going to do on Saturday night. One piece of data--my online screen name was "Red Sonja", and there was a darn good reason for it. I'm not the one you take home to mother. I'm the one your mother warned you about!
Then it started happening. Guys I used to date suddenly started "disappearing", and the next thing I knew, I was being introduced to their wife. Hmmmm.
So, all of a sudden, I seem to be the "n-1" girlfriend before a bunch of guys went off and got married. To really, really nice girls. To really, really *dull* girls. They all seemed to be rose-beige, brown-eyed, brown-haired clones, whose major talent balanced between having babies and "doing good cocktail party".
Yes, you *do* know the type. As far as I could figure, they had exhausted the "A" list guys, and were working on the "B" list so they could get that important "MRS" degree.
And they all seemed to be named Mary-somethingorother. I just started referring to them as the "Mary-Anns", because they all seemed to come out of the same hopper.
And, what happens? Weeks to months later, a bunch of these guys, who married "nice" girls who couldn't out-tech them, and who didn't give them any shit, were on the phone (or at the door) to me, wondering what I was doing that weekend. The record was one week. One week. Aren't you supposed to be otherwise occupied at that time?
Was this the "60-day special" Indiana divorce after a really, really bad decision? Nope! They were still married, and were going to stay so for the forseeable future. But they had married someone more because they were an "appropriate accessory" to a newly minted PhD than because they were the right person. So they married someone who they *couldn't* talk to in the morning. Heck, they couldn't talk to them anytime--other than they were married to the person, they didn't have anything *to* talk about!
What an absolutely stupid reason to get married.
So, what's the fix? Abject apologies all around and a discreet cut and run? Nope--go look for "n-1", and see what can be rekindled.
I may be a lot of things, but I'm no one's side-dish, thank you...
I do have to wonder what happened to all them. Did one of them finally break out of the ennui and run like hell, or did they just wander on, playing the game and agreeing to not pay very close attention?
Posted by lsefton at October 26, 2003 03:27 PM